As much as I might pine for Paris daily and quietly lament American excess (of which I am most certainly guilty); I have no trouble looking at the flaws of my favorite city full on. I know without a shadow of doubt that the French lag woefully behind Americans in one area:

The Chocolate Chip Cookie

This is not a matter of humor; but a fact. I am as American as they come when you give me raw ingredients and a preheated oven.

got milk?